Today, From Anotha Motha is two years old!
It’s exciting, but it’s also been awhile since I blogged. I haven’t posted on my site since I moved to California. I struggle with finding the balance of meaningful adoption advocacy and having an Instagram presence. In order for people to read my words, I need both, but by no means am I a “content creator.” If I have nothing to say about adoption, I won’t just make something up. But now, after a bit of a blogging hiatus, I have some thoughts to offer you.
In my own adoption, I have good days and bad days. Lately, I have a lot more good days. I honor myself by remembering the bad days, and choosing to persevere and do the heavy lifting with my grief. I don’t run from grief; I walk directly into the fire. This serves me well.
I started From Anotha Motha for many reasons, but primarily I just started this blog so I could write. Writing about my grief was a last ditch effort to save myself. And thank God I did.
I am approaching three years of this post-placement journey. I probably started advocacy way too early, in fact, I know I did. I drowned myself in it, eliminating most aspects of a social life for a long time. While I accomplished a lot, I was pretty lonely, which put me right back in the dark place I was subconsciously attempting to run from.
I made two big decisions last year that benefitted me, not only in my adoption journey, but in my overall well-being.
First, last spring I chose to take a break from my adoption. I let my son’s parents know that I was having a hard time and I asked for a two month break. For two months, I was able to take a deep breath and I took a big step forward. My anxiety leveled out, I realized how much I missed my triad, and I was welcomed back with open arms. Taking a break was scary, but it was a successful trust fall and it allowed me to work on myself and meet my own needs.
Second, I made a plan for my future and I went after it. I moved 2,000 miles away from home, in search of life that was mine for the taking. I found it. It has not been easy. There have been a few times that I was low on money, faith, and hope… but time and time again I am saved by grace. This move has been a step in the right direction for me as an individual. Not just for birth mom Kelsey, or ambitious career-driven Kelsey, but just Kelsey.
I know that we go through different seasons of grief, and life becomes difficult. Always value yourself enough to take a step back and evaluate your needs. This will never fail to propel you forward.
In this two years of blogging, I realize that this has become so much more than writing my thoughts out and clicking the “post” button. Thank you for reading, encouraging, and contributing to this adoption community. We are constantly learning and trying to do better. I feel so privileged to be next to you.